I once hissed at a fox and then it ran away. And my theme makes me laugh whenever I look at it, so it's staying this way. I hope it gives you a good chuckle as well.
May 24, 2013
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ah yes I’ve just thought the perfect sassy answer to that horrible thing someone told to me 4 years ago
(via collectionofmemoranda)
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Look, if you nicely tell me that swearing makes you uncomfortable and you politely ask me not to, I will stop immediately and speak nicer than a nun.
But if you start acting like you’re on some fucking high horse, or telling me that I’m going to Hell for talking the way that I do and you can’t “be around that kind of language” then you can bet your motherfuckin’ ass that I’ll be fucking cussing like a cunt-fuckin’ sailor you maggot-ridden piece of dick.
(via mfatica)
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hyperbole is my favorite literary device i use it like 600 times a day
(via lethargium)
May 23, 2013
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general psa:
freedom of speech means that the government is not allowed to tell you to shut the fuck up. it doesn’t mean that i am not allowed to tell you to shut the fuck up.
(via cookienomsterr)
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(Source: idreamofjimmy, via cookienomsterr)
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- year is 2392
- child: mommy i can't sleep
- mother: don't worry child. lay down as i sing you this ancient lullaby, passed on through my family for generations
- mother: WALK INTO THE CLUB LIKE WHAT UP, I GOT A BIG COCK
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ive finally found the symbol that fits my gender
(via heyfunniest)
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looks like my ride is here
(Source: doublevisionary, via batman-is-boss)
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red white and blue are the colors of freedom until they’re flashing in your rearview mirror
(via snapchatting)
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let me know when this stops being funny
(Source: nialljames91393, via lordandtaylorswift)
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ladies. be careful when u wear spaghetti straps. it might distract the boys. they’ll start thinking of spaghetti. they will get hungry. they will stop at nothing to get their spaghetti.
As a boy I can confirm that when I see spaghetti straps my hunger knows no bounds
(via queerscar)
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when youre in a fandom that is known for being fucking annoying and youre ashamed of it but you still like the thing
(via aktigerlily)
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once my baby was being really annoying so i put it in the basement but then i forgot and decided i didn’t want my basement anymore so i got rid of the door and then decided to do the rest later and when child protective services came they couldn’t get to my kid so they just wandered around my house
i’m talking about the sims please don’t call the police
(via aktigerlily)
